DAY 30

A year of meditation and not a day is the same as another. Insights, setbacks, breakthroughs. Kali's fire is still burning bright.

This week there has been so much chatter. Consistently constant chatter. I am trying not to engage with the endless thoughts -- sometimes succeeding, often not. 'It's ok', I tell myself. But I still feel guilty about it. Here's hoping for a cellular shift any day now! I am so ready to let the guilt go.

I sit through it each day though and it's such sweet little victory EVERY SINGLE time. Victory over my shadows.

Today I added some good old girlfriend time to normalise, et voila --

HAPPY WEEKEND!

BURN BABY BURN

Contemplating all sorts of things this week: spiritual bypass, mindfulness, vulnerability. Values + goals. Creation + destruction. Honouring the darkness. Feeling a little uprooted and upside down as I reevaluate, redefine, restructure EVERYTHING. With a little help from Kali, I burn, burn and burn. Shedding layers, throwing everything in. All that no longer serves. And when it seems like nothing's left, I burn some more. And the darker it gets, the brighter the fire burns. This present moment, this wonderful moment. Clarity. And then it's all over and the dawn comes and a loving kindness meditation feels so very appropriate: 

MAY WE BE HAPPY
MAY WE BE HEALTHY
MAY WE BE SAFE
MAY WE LIVE WITH EASE

BEATING RESISTANCE

This week's inspiration for my practice is from this morning's Jivamukti class: noticing, acknowledging and then questioning my judgements, preferences, resistance. Why do I prefer some poses to others. Why do I avoid some altogether. What am I resisting and why. Am I being lazy or comfortable -- or both. Or is it something legitimate that is stopping me from standing on my head. Getting to know and facing our shadows can be so uncomfortable but is so so transformative.

MAKING PEACE WITH THE PAST

This week in meditation I am making peace with the past. I invite any unresolved issues to bubble up to the surface and I bathe them in a golden glow of love, forgiveness and compassion allowing them to transcend, dissolve, dissipate. No naming, no analysing. Just letting them come and go. It's kind of like cord cutting without the harshness of the cutting. 

365 DAYS OF MEDITATION, TAKE 2

I missed a day last week. For a minute, I considered letting myself off the hook but then had to say no to that idea. It would have completely defeated the purpose of this challenge. It's 365 days of meditation, consecutive. Not 364. Sadhana, a committed practice.

Yoga Sutra I.14

Practice becomes firmly established when it has been cultivated uninterruptedly and with dedication over a prolonged period of time.

So there. Commitment and effort are required over a prolonged period of time to build a solid practice and reap real benefits. I knew, I know. But sometimes it takes reminding. I took a few days out to regroup and to recalibrate my intention for this practice, and I am very fittingly restarting it tomorrow on the new moon.

THE PRACTICE

Just as I originally pledged to myself on my birthday, I will meditate every single day for the next 365 days. Looking back over the last month or so, it was kind of a practice round. An opportunity to figure out what works for me (first thing in the morning, silent as opposed to guided) and what doesn't (other times of day, being too flexible), and what might be the best way to go about things in order to sustain this practice long term (set clear goal and keep them in front of my eyes).

  • Start date: 23 October 2014

  • End date: 22 October 2015

  • Bonus goal: 100 hours by the end of 31 December 2014

This time around there's an addition to the meditation. I am also joining in a group sadhana that was initiated at the Ibiza Shaktishop a couple of weeks ago. It's a daily practice to re-balance and strengthen the subtle body. More on that later.

THE WHY

To keep it really simple: I have tasted what life is like when I am really grounded and connected to my inner guide. I want my life to be that way as much of the time as possible and, in order to achieve this, I need to create a long-term sustainable practice that will facilitate this situation.

THE INTENTION

I take care of myself. I support and nourish my mind, body and soul. I am fully present in the now and deeply connected to my inner guide.